RED LETTERS ARE NOT TO BE READ WITH EYES ALONE !!

My stomach is half filled. With the bricks surrounding me,  had a night walk. Happy that I'm the only person I could meet in this room. My eyes got hooked onto a photo frame. Walked straight. Held it at a distance. Of course the picture was not my aim. I could see the reflection on the glass. Not so clear yet I was able to identify myself. That was a good sign to remind myself that my eyes have sight. I kept it on the table.Unknowingly, my hands went in search for the sword I wish to have on my lonely evenings. I scribbled down some words to sharpen it. An emptied feeling.. Wihsing to draw the lady of broken words, I ended up in drawing something more familiar to me. Her eyes seemed inexplicable. Soon the ink forbid itself to spread on the paper.Even then I ran my fingers around to create me. Just shattered a few drops of tears on the virgin young lady, I closed my book.. 

Vows

Love yourself and you will defenitely find a person who wish to be loved by you..
He or she will be your perfect companion by the way..
 <3...

THE SCAR

Dated : 16/11/2013

Wasn't content when I woke up this morning. Mind is still praying. Laying my face against the pillow, covered my head. But kept on seeing the blood. Never felt safe in my room which always tells me that my intuitions will never go wrong. Hands reached for the phone. No new messages. Wished you a good morning at 9.01 am.

Not even bothered to fold the bed cover, went down. Realised what chaos in real life meant. Stood under the shower for a couple of minutes to remind myself that my head is not burning. It was not the usual cold. Hands had gone pale. Mom called me for breakfast from a wall away. Experienced like those sound waves had crossed several seas to hit my eardrum. Got fresh. Came out. Stuffed my mouth with some food.

Switched on the TV. The buttons in the remote were pressed with an unusual speed. Reverting from one to another and again going back. Perhaps I was just a robot that possibly forgets to breathe. Nothing emerged that could detach for sometime from my physical state. For the good or the bad, eyes got stuck to "SISTER ACT" by Sia Issac which was on my brother's book shelf. Its new. Smelled fresh. I ran across the pages. This was the last line in the 6 th page. "No new green leaves will be seen by his eyes. Death is only an acute pain to retain the last shred of air you have within. "

This sencente collapsed my head and intruded into the emptiness of my mind like a wild fire. Ran upstairs. Reached for my phone. 2 missed calls on the screen. Called back. Your voice was resonant. Your breaths were rushing too fast to spill the words over me. I guessed. My mind processed a visual. You laying alone in a vehicle crowd. "Had an accident." These words came to me across the ear piece. My pulse rate slowed down. My diaphragm collapsed and my nerves are on. "He is safe"- the inner angel said. I truly got my breath back and I AM ALIVE ! 

With regards
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PS: Stay close

Polynomial as a LAUGHING GAS ;)

He likes those similar triangles which I hate the most and he hates those polynomials which I like the most. Unity in diversity. That was the only available solution. I taught this boy for 4 weeks the major operations involved while dealing with this topic. Every time he makes this mistake of multiplying a number with an unknown 'x' its a x squared.  I repeatedly cleared his doubts (which was the same everytime). On the final day I put him under test and asked him to solve some questions.  Again when the similar multiplication came he rerere....repeated (thats the word actually) the very same mistake. Got angry and shouted like how many times should I tell you this ! Once again rewinded every single phrase that i told but this time in a different way. I changed my font style by using cursy writing and to my surprise he started giving answers without any flaws. At the end I asked him why he was not able to follow this till now and he innocently replied " your x and x (one of which is the multiplication symbol) looked alike and every time I saw this made me think that there are two "x". This follows a long laughter :D

Thumbs up Navneeth.. (my student) !!

myself 'INK'ed

Woke up this morning with the stains of ink in my hand. That was the result of  imposing an experience on the white background. The light was still on. I smelled like the freshly printed book. Happy and content. I winked my eyes to see the colour. It was green. The colour of revolution. It ordered me, 'Sow the letters among the crowd. Let it be read. Not by millions or trillions just by one. Make him read Your lines, Your words, the course of strings You play in the concert of your life.'

Reminding myself that i am just one sapien that emerged from a fusion, I picked "EXPLICIT SIGN - by De Auva, (book of the era) and propped up to read (the first thing to do in the morning).

A good read.. But these lines nailed my eyes.. "Its transparency; its virginity summed up day by day. It emerged as something unique. Yet it had no name. "

Even the name by which we are being addressed is not ours. Someone framed it for us. Nothing was named to make it human on the face of EARTH. It was given to follow certain rituals, customs, and atlast to be cremated in the name of a God'. Why was i named ? To loose my uniqueness !!

To be or not to be...

Let me be me

Why cant the breeze swirl ?
Why dont the springs flood ?
Why lillies ought not smell like roses ?
I asked
You smiled and replied
"Things need to stay special ;
That's the law of nature"
Yes. I thought
A day needs to be a day
A night needs to be a night
Calories burnt as thoughts sprouted its wings
I sensed desert sun
Starved, cried and dried
Buried myself in dunes
Something arose from me
Thorny, green, fleshy and juicy
It cant be as simple as grass
If so it will die..

BETTER NOT "HANG" URSELF IN THIS C'HANG'E

വിയർപ്പിനാൽ  മുഷിഞ്ഞ ഒരു തലയണയുടെ മുകളിലാണ്  ഇന്നു  എൻറെ കണ്ണുകൾ  വിരിഞ്ഞത് . മറവികൾക്ക്   ഏറെ പ്രിയം എന്നും ഉറക്കമാണ്.സമയം 6 ആകാൻ പോകുന്നു. വൈയ്കുന്നേരം.ആശ്ചര്യം ഒന്നുമില്ല . ഇതിപ്പോൾ പതിവാണ്. എല്ലാത്തിൽ നിന്നുമുള്ള ഒരു ഓടിമാറയൽ.കുറെ നേരം തിരിഞ്ഞും മറിഞ്ഞും കിടന്നു നോക്കി. ഇല്ല . ഇനി ഉറങ്ങുക അസാധ്യമാണ് . after all this is just a human body... it needs some change.yep. d word "change". ഈ  യുഗത്തിന്റെ  വക്താക്കൾ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന ഒരു പ്രതിഭാസം. മരണത്തിന്റെ അനന്ത സാധ്യതകളെ  കുറിച്ച് ചിന്തിച്ചു മടുത്തവർക്ക് ഒരു പുതുജീവനെന്നോ ഒരു നൂതന പ്രതെക്ഷയെന്നോ പറയാവുന്ന "A MERGE OF LETTERS".. thats what a change is.പിന്നെ എണീട്ടിരുന്നു  കുറെ നേരം എന്തൊക്കെയോ ആലോചിച്ചു. ചിന്തകൾക്ക്  വ്യക്തമായ ഒരു ദിശ ഉണ്ടായിരുനില്ല. എന്നാലും അത് എനിക്കൊരു ഹരമാണ്. പ്രത്യേകിച്ചും ഒരു ഉറക്കം കഴിഞ്ഞിട്ടാകുമ്പോൾ . .കണ്ണാടിയിൽ  നോക്കി കുറച്ചു നേരം ഇരുന്നു. ജനലുകളുടെ അതിർവരമ്പുകൾ ഭേദിച്ച് മുഖതേക്ക്  അരിച്ചു വീഴുന്ന രശ്മികളിൽ എന്റെ കൃഷ്ണമണി പ്രതികരിക്കുനത് കണ്ടു. കണ്പീലി കൾ ഒത്തിരി കൊഴിഞ്ഞിരിക്കുന്നു. മുഖത്ത്  എണ്ണ  മയം. വരണ്ട ചുണ്ടുകൾ. മാറ്റങ്ങള്ക്ക് ഒരു കവാടം ഒരുക്കിയിരുന്നു.. അതു എന്നോ തുറക്കപെട്ടു. വേഷത്തിൽ ആയാലും സംസാരത്തിൽ ആയാലും.എന്നിരുന്നാലും ഉള്ളിന്റെ ഉള്ളില ആ തീ അണയാതെ കിടക്കുന്നുണ്ട്.കൂടുകുട്ടിയ സ്വപ്നങ്ങൾ ഒരു പ്യുപ്പ  ആയി വളര്ന്നിരിക്കുന്നു. ആ സന്യാസം മറികടന്നു പറക്കുന്ന കാഴ്ചകൾ ഓർത്ത്  ആ കണ്ണുകളിലേക്ക് നോക്കി ഇരുന്നു..ഇതാണ് ഞാൻ അറിയാനും ഇഷ്ട്ടപെടനും സ്വന്തമാക്കാനും ശ്രമിച്ച ഞൻ.കൈകൾ  അറിയാതെ എത്തിയത്  ഒരു ഗ്ലാസ്‌ വെള്ളത്തിലാണ്. അതിനു ഒരു ലഹരി ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു. ഈ  അക്ഷരങ്ങള എനിക്ക് സമ്മാനിച്ച ലഹരി. അറിയുന്നു ഞാൻ എന്നെ, ആ മാറ്റത്തെ . പറയാനും കേൾക്കാനും കാത്തിരിക്കുന്ന എനിക്ക് ചുറ്റുമുള്ള അനന്ത വിഹായിസ്സിനോട് ഒന്ന് മാത്രം life seems to be more explicit when one start loving oneself.
                                                                                                                                       
സ്വന്തം
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